Komorebi
Hello I found myself standing at this door again, offering Mundane metaphors and dilapidated imagery
(Are you tired of my grief yet?
My secondhand pain, fermenting like bad liquor
Acrid from the taste of smoke on the skyline
Pried open and plundered until there's
Nothing
Of value left in this burial chamber.
Still, I drift through the catacombs,
Brushing through wide-open fields A single farmhouse amid the ripened beige
Distorted by years of wind and rain
And the sky gapes open like an eye
(But all I see is eigengrau).
[I can feel it bearing down on my shoulders
With the weight of water when you Sink down to the twilight zone,
Swallowed into the bowels of the earth
Amid creatures that thrive in the dark.
But I am photophilic and crave the touch of
A thousand suns Even after the black holes have evaporated
And purged out all they swallowed
And even when I can no longer remember
My name, my face I know you'll be waiting at the end of the line.]
An abandoned landscape, liminal roads
Winding through misty street lights.
Gas stations in the middle of the gloom.
Obscured from time, something beckons me
And I am always drawn back to the black.
A never-ending oscillation.)
One night I dreamt of an old body borne up By blackened boughs of a fire-licked tree.
Her naked skin wine-red from the
Gnawing of goats
(Baphomet's cold stare, cold grin
Gnashing his teeth in anticipation)
I realized she was still breathing
And a line of birds weaved among
Wind turbines turning
(A white forest,
Lifeless)
A recurring cinemagraph Up into the air.
I think it's a sign that even though I tried
To drown me out 4 years ago
Sewed her lips shut with thread and
Strangled that throat with all the strength
I could muster, then locked her up
And threw away the key (Out of shame and sorrow,
Believing this was the punishment due
For all the sins I could never atone for)
She came back knocking at my door,
Tearing through my skin like paper
Teeth-bared, screaming these words Through blood and bone.
After all, I've always known I could never run
From my own shadow.
And that love I tried to offer crashed to ruin (I knew I could never lie to myself) A bridge burned, apologies and closure Bottled up and hurled into the sea.
Treading on the ashes, I found what I owe myself
Among the scorched fragments of
Paper cranes and watercolor dreams.
I can never love if I hold her hands and
Only feel hate.
So I fall on my bruised knees, clutching her tight
(The deluge long overdue)
Close to this heart that keeps beating to not just Keep you alive
But also to drive each step of mine forwards
And write each unfolding chapter. To find the courage and light to stand In this world without fists clenched
And embrace the pounding rain.
So this time, I dedicate this to the girl I had forsaken
And apologize for all the lashings she suffered
On my behalf. For the meantime, the devil will have to wait
As I'm on my feet again
Blazing my own trail with the conviction of
A thousand suns (After all, my name means green growth And these seeds have been waiting long enough).
Requiem for a Rose
Above the horizon, phosphenes
In the eyes of god(s). Astral lights
Exhale; the dawn zephyr reaches
Down from the new-born heavens
(Reincarnated every morning)
And kisses the soil, and you shrouded
In your bud decides to unfurl -
Breathing to synodic rhythms.
ii) Perhaps you were the rose the
Nightingale decided to pierce it's throat
On, all for the sake of love.
You were a romantic, an idealist, a
Dreamer. The world would turn slower
For you when you believed; fireflies
Flitting in the shadowy spaces between your
Fingers, and we'd watch the night turn
Robin-blue as the moonlight bathed you
In a halo. You were a goddess with nebulae
In your wake, but in your own reflection
You only saw incandescence that hurt your
Retina, and you shied away.
iii) We are all born with fire in our
Lungs and stars in our eyes; yet
Senescence is woven into our bones
And subject to entropy's ceaseless
Current, the same way the corners
Of the pelagic expanse swallows
Our footprints, murmuring ancient
Hymns from the deep, as old as Time,
Yet ephemeral as tides.
iv) Perhaps you were the rose the
Prince fell madly for, but you didn't need
A prince, just someone to treat you like
A princess. You lived together in a small
Hiding-place within the woods, your
Own planet, a tryst that could fit in the palms
Of your hands. But you cut yourself on
Your thorns, and you wondered whether
The wounds would fester and poison you
From the inside out.
Of rotting from the inside out.)
v) You were a bairn of mornings,
Your petals soaked with the spectrum
Of the arching skies. We are inborn
Nephologists, with a curiosity that
Overflows the boundaries of the backyard,
Finding universes in the minutiae. But
Nothing gold can stay, and your gold
Beckoned to dragons. You found monsters
Not under your bed, but making a den in
Your head.
vi) Efflorescent. You'd drift into a sloom,
Boreal cirrus your nest. I don't know
How many nights you cried yourself to
Sleep, not wanting to see the day you
Wilt, the sepia-tinged memories encroaching
Like rust, and you can't run from the
Shadows cast by your own light.
vii) Remember the story I told you about
Icarus? Maybe then did you decide
Gravity was your ally and you mused about
What your eulogies would be like. But
All I saw were your rose-colored atmospheres;
I couldn't see your desinences behind your
Radiant smiles. You wandered alone in the
Wilderness of your mind, beaten by
Roaring waves that threatened to swallow
You alive, the brine blinding you.
viii) Perhaps you were the rose that thought
She was negligible, only one of millions of
Those cold specks of light, too far away
To mean anything anymore. You told me
The worst things in life come free to us,
You whispered if you love me let me go,
So from cloud 9 you decided to plummet
As a shooting star -
The seconds froze as you shed your final
Layers in a supernova, and like a phoenix
You blinked out into naught but ashes.
ix) That's when your pulse flickered
And faded
(It's too cold outside
For angels to fly,
x) And now I'm left alone by myself
Watching cerulean light diffusing from the
Witching hours, wondering why couldn't
I've talked you down. I don't know how
To save a life, so this posthumous
Cenotaph falls only on deaf ears
(Can you hear me?
You don't gain a single thing from misery)
I wish I could've been the lighthouse
To guide you home from the dark
Waters, to tell you that it doesn't matter
If you lost your crown to shipwrecks,
Because you can always be king again.
In my eyes you were euthanized by
Your own hands, the same hands
That let ink flow across paper like
Blossoms.
In my eyes you smile, your breath
Drifting into the ripened harvest moon
Like a flock of birds, using the stars
As their guide.
In my eyes you are sempiternal,
In the way you lived and laughed and
Loved, and I am blessed to have been
Able to stand in your radiance, albeit
Only for a fleeting moment, but
I'm grateful for our little infinity.
Thank you.
May lights guide you wherever you wander.
for an eccedentesiastO diaphanous dawn;
The stars birth cerulean li(ght/fe),
Sun rises, carpe diem.
How to save a life
(Dedicated to
redmatilda
Speckled-Fate
ChandraKanthTalari
LadyBitterblue
ilivefortoast
ShihSnTz
May the stars always light your path
[close your eyes and listen to Iridescent by Linkin Park])
I need a little help. Please.
lyric poll
(where does your heart lead you today, loner?)